Cuz ya had a bad day....

Sitting in a coffee shop writting a lesson plan, I felt the need to blog. I sit here with like 1000000 thoughts running through my head that I just wanted to write about. So...that is what brings me back to this dandy online place that I can pour out pointless thoughts in hopes that it matters to somebody in the world...just kidding.

So, my thoughts...

Love is patient...love may be patient, but I am not. I must learn how to be. I am impatient and very stubborn. It takes me FOREVER to think things through. And once I do, I just keep thinking in hopes that I make the right decisions. This brings me to the word faith. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen.." Hebrews 11:1. But what does that mean? I sit here with a heart full of dreams and a life lived before the Lord. I have to have his peace that somehow, somewhere, in his own time I will live these dreams. I just have to take steps into the unseen knowing that he is with me. So I ask myself, why is this so hard for me? ...the answer...I don't know. My guess is that I am just not patient and too independent. I just have to let the Lord take my hand and guide me and wait patiently for his timing because it is not my own. Time and time again I try to plan my own things and plan my own life while telling myself that the Lord is in control but gently not really letting him guide mysteps. So I will choose to have faith. The Lord has done some miraculous things in my life and those close to me. All of these things show me his faithfulness and his soverign nature. He IS in control. He is who he says he is and his power is almighty. As Blake talked about in big church yesterday, he said we are not on Earth to be happy or find happiness. We must wake up each to and fight opposition. This opposition takes many forms in my life and I realized that when I keep trying to fight this sadness it never gets anywhere. With the idea that we are not here to find happiness or to be happy, I can now face the junk that is holding me back from joy with the strength of the Lord. I had not fully given my hurt and sadness to the Lord, but to think that we arent here to find happiness but to find joy in the Lord gives me strength I did not know I had. I will now wake up each day knowing that today is going to be awful because I am not here to be happy, but I must seek my joy from the Lord each day. I hope this is making sense to somebody other than me as well. So sitting here in this coffee shop with my homework sitting next to me, I choose to have joy in the Lord and not happiness in Earthly things or beings....hmm wow that makes so much sense! I think after a long while, I have found joy that use to be ever present in my life but had become a fairweather friend.

and this my friends is what joy looks like to me...don't mind the awful tan lines....

and here are few more examples....

ok...maybe i should do hw now...until next time...goodbye!